“AS THE CHURCH IS subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies” Eph. 5: 24-26, 28.

Infidelity and lack of trust are bringing threat to families. When spouses forget their marriage vows or refuse to renew them often as they live together, they should expect the worse to happen to their marriage.

St Paul gave a perfect guideline in Eph. 5: 24-30 to couples but most husbands and wives of our time act outside these guidelines. Hence we experience more killings and divorces than ever before.

Few days ago, Sanda vowed to kill her husband, Bello when she read a text message in his phone thinking he was cheating on her. She attempted to stab him four times that evening but for the timely intervention of a family friend, Aliero who later invited Bello’s relations to the scene.

As expected, the two relations came promptly to calm Sanda down before they left at about mid-night. They thought the fight was over but while they left, the unexpected happened: Sanda allegedly stabbed Bello on his chest and shoulders in addition to many bite wounds. The following afternoon, Bello’s relations were invited to a hospital where they found him in a pool of his blood. May his soul rest in peace!

It is painful when the one person you trusted in your entire life as your  spouse cheats on you but taking his/her life will rather make you a sinner than profer solution to your problem. Someone has said, “In truth, of all the things Jesus suffered perhaps what hurt Him most was the failure of His friends.”

Nathan challenged Boma (his lover) for cheating on him. But Boma turned to blame Nathan for cheating on her. Two wrongs cannot make a right, hence they had to fight until Nathan wounded Boma and ran away. Boma who allowed anger to overwhelm her took the fight to facebook and invited all and sundry to help her locate the man who was until then, “the only sugar in her tea.”

When she located Nathan that night, she killed him. After the havoc had been done, anger vacated her heart and she took to her heels. If you marry the right bone of your bones, love will prevail  your heart such that you will not do anything to hurt him/her. “For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church.” Eph. 5:29.

In Bayelsa State, Joy went fishing with her friend, Juliet when her husband attacked and killed her with a machete at about 8.30pm. She was just 21 and her husband, Vincent 24. Do not marry in a hurry! Marriage is a life-long vocation. “You have heard it said to the men of old, “You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgement” Mt. 5:21.

I love the way Ashley Cole and Cheryl resolved their problem of infidelity. Cole was 29 while Cheryl was 27 in 2010 when temptation rocked their love boat. They first met in 2004 and got engaged in 2005. They staged a glittering $500,00 wedding with celeb guests and sold the pictures for $1.5m.

Cole’s closest friends made him to have sexual relationship with Aimee Walton after making him drunk. By the time, he realised what was happening to him, Aimee had published the event which made Cheryl to demand for a divorce. Cole then realised that “it is no everybody who flocked round you to share your wealth and fame that really loves you.”

This sad event took place just before the World Cup in South Africa in 2010. Unlike the above stories, Cheryl did not hurt Cole physically. Cole on his part said nothing but went to South Africa to play ball like he never did before. He neither blame anyone nor accept the blame. It is better to bite your tongue than to say what you will live to regret. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

“Infidelity and lack of trust are serious issues in marriage and cannot be waived aside. It negates the tenets of marriage built on love and trust. Infidelity is a virus that eats up marriage and breeds lack of trust. Couples should make conscious efforts to avoid these vices from plaquing their marriage. Once there is suspicion of infidelity, the trust which cement the marriage is eroded and the walls of the marriage begins to fall apart” Cajetan Iwuoha.


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